‘The’ Frequently Asked Questions

“Oh… you were looking for the FAQ?”

Fair enough. That’s on us.

This page is the TFAQ — ‘The’ Frequently Asked Questions.
Not exactly the answers you expected, and probably some of the questions you might not think to ask.

It’s a satirical take on the obvious questions surrounding how this operates — access, tiers, restrictions, standards, and other stuff — without the usual marketing filter. Straight from the mind of the owner/creator.

If you’re looking for The ‘Real’ FAQ with straightforward answers, you can find it below.

And now for the interview. In the form of DM’s. From myself to myself.

the fucking Questions…please?

  • Ha! No, I knew that would be your first question. Excellent question btw. Technically speaking, I don’t truly know, or even care really. I practice viaragya, detachment. Mental health & health care in general is a tragic problem…in America. I do prefer to refer to my ‘self’ though as ‘hypersane’ not as ‘insane.’ That’s rude.

  • Oh, its really nothing. Sane to insane, back to sane again…a comparative study & journey into the frequencies of thought. I think there are more individuals out there with this ‘condition’ than most people think. It’s a rising problem amongst people who have been through ‘some shit.’ And I accept your apology.

  • Who these guys? Technically no, we are nihilist in here (LOL). However, if by our addition to ‘culture’ history labels us a ‘cult leader,’ we won’t fight the ocean. Anyway, Jesus was a cult leader…but then again so was Charles Manson. Similar postures, slightly different vibes.

  • Oh…we’re like the dead. You should never contact us. We’ll contact you…when the time is right. Look to the sky for our brand logo.

  • No comment. Okay one comment. Some spooky ‘Batman’ type shit. Next question please.

  • I could tell you a story about the death of Thor, but I won’t. It means ‘slaine’ or ‘the slain’ as in on a battlefield. You would know it best by the English word ‘valor.’ It was a gift, an homage to an idea called ‘ksatriya.’

  • How long you got buddy? Did you read my blog? It answers a lot of questions. Do your research.

  • Oh…you can purchase whatever you like when you have access to it. Jeez, it’s not like it everything…its a trust thing. Mostly for posers, in this Age, I think you call them influencers.

  • Sure. Think of limited runs and drops as protected assets. A tier systems helps these protected assets find their way to the proper hands. The proper hands of our dedicated and trusted loyal clients.

  • No. Unfortunately there was an incident. We have a long standing policy about customers. We only accept clients now. We affirm, it does sound a bit elitist? Doesn’t it? But that’s old news. Client access is upgraded as certain spend metrics are qualified in our system. Basically, a loyalty program.

  • One site sucks at this, another site blows at that. We use each to the best of it capacity to bring to you, our clients, a unique user experience. One site serves as a vault. The other site serves as a factory. All held together mysteriously with duct tape.

  • No association what so ever, but I Fux with them. I love their music! I work out to it. As a Type 8 it puts me in my activated state. Music was my only friend for a long while.

  • Type 8 is an enneagram profile. Our default emotion is anger. In general, you could say this type, my type, is emotionally challenged. Activated State means somebody dropped a quarter into the ‘asshole machine.’ And not in a good way. We’re not talking ‘butt sex,’ here. We’re talking ‘psycho.’ It used to be a problem, but I accepted the challenge, and I’m doing much better now. Control and restraint is how I built this business. Early in life, had too much rajas & sattva, not enough tamas.

  • That’s Vedanta. Those are called gunas. In that philosophy, the gunas are the irreducible qualities of matter. I will redefine what I said early. I had too much energy (rajas) and was too idealistic (sattva) and I needed more grounding (tamas). Pretty common in young people. You should read more books. You can start with my blog though.

  • Warrior shit. Not that false bravado crap…but more like soul crap. I’m reintroducing ancient philosophies into these Modern times. You call it evangelism, I call it dharma…duty.

I hope you have enjoyed this ‘quick feed’ on how we operate. More importantly after reading this bit of satire, you should have a fairly good idea if this is a brand for you. But perhaps you need a bit more. Well then have a listen at GUT’R radio.